Connection, Attachment & Psychotherapy

In both time travel and physics, the concept of a constant or a ground is essential to complete a circuit or maintain the integrity of a living process. Whether in theoretical physics or psychological functioning, a consistent and familiar anchor is required to maintain stability during moments of change or uncertainty. Just as in time travel, where a tether to a known point in time is necessary to return to reality, in psychological processes, an individual needs a "tether" — a stable reference point — to help navigate and make sense of new or unfamiliar experiences. When people venture beyond their known boundaries, whether through challenging experiences, new environments, or personal growth, they must remain connected to a reliable anchor in their past, present, or external support systems. Without such a tether, individuals risk losing their sense of reality or self, which can lead to disorientation, confusion, and psychological distress.

Psychological Tethers: The Need for Consistency

In psychology, the need for a tether is especially evident in situations involving trauma, identity development, or significant life changes. According to attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969), individuals develop emotional bonds to primary caregivers, which provide a sense of security. These bonds, in turn, serve as a psychological tether, offering a stable foundation upon which individuals can explore the world and navigate new experiences. When these attachments are disrupted, individuals may struggle to maintain a consistent sense of self or a clear connection to reality, leading to difficulties in emotional regulation and social interactions (Ainsworth et al., 1978).

For example, when individuals undergo significant life changes such as the loss of a loved one or a shift in their life circumstances, they often experience a rupture in their emotional tether. Without this point of reference, they may find it challenging to adjust or make sense of their experiences, potentially leading to conditions such as depression or anxiety. Studies have shown that when people face uncertainty or change, having social support or a secure attachment figure is vital to their mental health and well-being. Research by Cohen and Wills (1985) highlights how social support serves as a crucial buffer against stress, providing individuals with a psychological tether that helps them maintain resilience and cope with adversity.

The Role of Consistent Values and Beliefs

In addition to attachment figures, individuals also rely on personal values and beliefs as psychological tethers. These belief systems act as anchors when individuals face challenges or explore new dimensions of their identity. When navigating unfamiliar or difficult experiences, consistent values can guide decision-making and provide a sense of stability. Erikson’s (1968) theory of psychosocial development underscores the importance of identity formation during adolescence, where individuals begin to establish a clear sense of self. This sense of self, grounded in personal values and beliefs, acts as a tether to help them explore new roles and relationships without losing their core identity.

For example, in times of moral or existential uncertainty, individuals often lean on their core beliefs to provide direction and clarity. Without these foundational values, they may feel adrift, leading to existential crises or a lack of purpose (Frankl, 2006). This underscores the psychological importance of having a tether in the form of consistent beliefs, which help individuals navigate the complexities of life.

The Dangers of Losing the Tether

When individuals lose their psychological tether, the implications can be profound. Research in existential psychology emphasizes how the loss of a stable sense of self or connection to external realities can lead to anxiety and disorientation. Yalom (1980) posits that existential isolation and the fear of meaninglessness are central human concerns that can arise when individuals feel disconnected from their sense of self or from others. This isolation can lead to a cascade of psychological issues, such as depression, identity crises, and an increased susceptibility to existential anxiety.

Moreover, the importance of having a tether extends to the realm of mental health treatment. In therapeutic settings, clients often seek a psychological anchor in the form of a therapist, safe space, or therapeutic relationship. According to the common factors theory (Lambert, 2013), the therapeutic relationship itself serves as a critical tether that helps clients explore new emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Without this stable and supportive foundation, individuals may find it difficult to progress in therapy, particularly when confronted with difficult or unfamiliar material.

The Implications for Psychological Resilience

On a broader level, the concept of needing a tether has important implications for psychological resilience. Research by Bonanno (2004) suggests that individuals who are able to maintain stable connections — whether through personal relationships, community, or a clear sense of purpose — tend to exhibit greater resilience in the face of adversity. Resilience, in this sense, can be viewed as the capacity to maintain psychological stability despite life’s disruptions, supported by a stable tether that helps individuals recover after setbacks. The ability to “come back” from challenging experiences often depends on the individual’s access to stable and supportive ties.

In sum, the concept of a tether in psychology is crucial for maintaining mental well-being, providing a stable foundation for individuals as they navigate the complexities of life. Whether through attachment relationships, personal values, or social support, these psychological tethers allow individuals to explore new possibilities while maintaining their sense of identity and reality. Without such anchors, individuals may find themselves adrift in a sea of uncertainty, leading to a potential loss of self, identity, or meaning.

References

Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Lawrence Erlbaum.

Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, trauma, and human resilience: Have we underestimated the human capacity to thrive after extremely aversive events? American Psychologist, 59(1), 20–28. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.59.1.20

Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Volume I. Attachment. Basic Books.

Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310–357. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310

Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. Norton & Company.

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man's search for meaning (4th ed.). Beacon Press.

Lambert, M. J. (2013). The efficacy and effectiveness of psychotherapy. In M. J. Lambert (Ed.), Bergin and Garfield’s handbook of psychotherapy and behavior change (6th ed., pp. 169–218). Wiley.

Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. Basic Books.

Sabrina Popernitsch is a Registered Psychotherapist at The Oaks Psychotherapy and provides in-person therapy in Guelph and online counselling sessions across Ontario. She supports children, youth, families and individuals with navigating anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, Autism, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics and more. She provides counselling using various therapy models such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Exposure Response & Prevention and Internal Family Systems.

To explore working with Sabrina browse through her bio and see her availability here!

At The Oaks Psychotherapy we're here to help you navigate the seasons of life with curiosity, compassion and presence.

The information provided in this article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The author is not liable for any misuse or misinterpretation of the information in this article.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health emergency, please reach out to a professional immediately. In Ontario, you can contact the Talk Suicide Canada Service at 9-8-8 or 1-833-456-4566 for support 24/7, or ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 for mental health and addiction services.